Just started a new job, which I absolutely LOVE. BFB just started his new job. He hasn't been there long enough to love it, but at this point it's safe to say that he doesn't hate it. GFB has a job. And that's about all the nice I can say about that. And I've always been told "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". So, life is rolling along and things are going well. Nothing is perfect, and frankly I don't expect it to be. That's the nature of life.
Biggest issue these days is that with work schedules we all just don't seem to really have any free time to connect with each other, to enjoy free time together. Now, BFB and I are kind of solitary types. Definitely need our alone time, for our own mental health and cookies. But we can have "alone time" while we're in the same room, on the same couch even. We can do that and not need to talk. And often we will do this for hours at a time.
Now, our schedules are exactly opposite each other. On the days I'm off... he's working 12 hours. and vice versa. Now add to that the fact that in 2 weeks I start nights again. SO He's going to be off and on a day schedule, while I'm trying to sleep. Meaning he's going to be home when I'm home and because I have to sleep, I STILL don't get to spend any time with him. And GFB gets up at the ass crack of dawn every week day, comes home after work and physical therapy and can barely stay awake long enough to not fall asleep in her mashed potatoes at the dinner table.
None of these things are really great news. Now, I'm not really worried about the relationship. We love each other and this is one of those temporary speed bumps that we have to deal with in the course of building a life together. So I'm not really worried. (I said that already didn't I?)
Now add in this little world crisis called Ebola.
For those of you that don't know (and why would you? Who reads this crap anyway?) I work in health care. For the Government. Not only is Ebola coming, it's already here. There are many different schools of thought about this disease. Some aren't really afraid, and are listening to the supposed "people in the know" that say that it'll never overwhelm this country because of our fantastic medical system and resources. I'd like to live in their fantasy world. ME?? I'm scared. There's a 99.9-100% chance that I'm going to encounter this virus in the course of my daily work in the next 6 months to a year. I'm undecided what I'm going to do at that point.
BFB mentioned in his own blog post that we're having some hard discussions at home. We are.
Mainly about what I'm supposed to do when this virus does hit my hospital here in quiet Middle America. Do I come home? Do I continue to go to work? Can I afford not to? If I do work, can I or should I continue to come home? Am I confident in my ability to don and doff my PPE 110% correctly each and every time? Am I confident in the PPE the Government is going to give me to work with? The unfortunate answer to these questions is terrifyingly "I don't know", and in one or two cases, "NO"
So now this is my reality. I have significant others that I love to the end of the earth and back, but that I barely see even now. What happens if I have to work with this plague, and we as a group decide that it's probably better if I don't come home until things cool off. On one hand, I'm pissed that I can't (or won't) go home. But on the other, do I want to risk exposing those I love to something horrific? Where does that put all of us relationship wise? Again... terrifying answer is "I don't know".
All I know right now is that despite the fact that I love my job, I'm not sure healthcare is the best industry to be in right now. FML.